wow it's been a while. I guess a lot happened since i last wrote anything. i guess i just feel like writing.

This morning started out as usual. Basically this means I woke up waaayy too early, 6:00 to be exact; Actually, no... 5:... something, but close to 6 and no, unfortunately it was not pm :( Anyways, for some reason it's been getting rather easy to wake up at such an early hour. I know it may not be early for some people but for me it is. I used to wake up at 7:20 ish and take 30 minutes to get ready, meaning I would leave for school around 7:50... which was when it started... Lets just say I didn't have the best attendance last year... Anyways, the reason for my change in sleep schedule is a mystery but recently I believe it has something to do with "twin". "Twin" is a nickname we gave somebody. You can probably guess what kind of somebody. I don't want to say his name even though I know pretty much no one will read this His name is also pretty generic but... just playing it safe. So "twin" is someone who looks like someone from junior high. See i used to live in Davis, California and about two years ago I moved to Los Angeles. Boo. I still consider davis my home and recently i've been getting waves of nostalgia. I almost cried in english a few days ago... Anyways, the first time I saw "twin" was when fourth and sixth period choir got together for practice after school. I think I saw him before then but this was the first time I can say for sure. He was messing around near the piano with some other guys and every time I looked at him I saw "square's" face. "Square" (sorry for the nicknames) is someone i liked (and still do like) in Davis. Even now I compare anyone with blue eyes or a similar hair style to him but when I saw "twin" that day, it really felt like that had been the last time I had seen him(yes i know the nicknames take away any amount of emotion or deepness this might have had...). After choir practice I had a huge wave of nostalgia that was rather depressing. ...So back to the present!... wait no... there's more back story... so on the first day of school I went to my first class (about thirty minutes late... :/) and the first person i saw was "twin".  I really don't like being near him because it feels like I'm seeing double. Either way I thought it wouldn't matter, I mean, what's the likely hood I would actually get to know him? So later I tried to switch into ap chemistry, which to my delight, was first period, meaning I would have to switch my english class (my class with him). Fate apparently didn't want that to happen so I stayed in the class, and unfortunately, regular chemistry. :/ A couple weeks later, he moved to our side of the room. Not just our side either; He sat practically right next to me. "It was getting boring over there. I'm gonna sit with you guys from now on"(wow i actually kind of remembered what he said.) But, despite the close proximity of our seating, we still didn't talk, but about a month ago, we actually did start talking. Actually, our group talks a lot. We probably are the most talkative group in that class and are constantly being told to shut up by the teacher. And finally for the last back story. About a couple weeks ago, "twin" started talking to me on facebook chat. He said he had a weird dream with me in it. He wouldn't tell me what it was so i asked him to tell me the part that had me in it to which replied saying it was about me. He finally told me what it was... Apparently it was a house party where we were making out in a pool for twenty minutes. gross right? ...I'm still wondering how exactly he knew it was twenty minutes but there are just some questions you just don't ask. Unfortunately, I started liking him a couple weeks before he told me this :/. So the next week, it was a little awkward. We talked a lot though. We also had CST testing, which really messed up the schedule. It was a nice change from the regular two hour classes though. Classes became a friendly 50 minutes. So during english, things were actually pretty normal. Then when leaving the class, Sid(I can say his name... besides, he knows his nickname...)said something about this guy I used to like( don't feel like saying his name but his nickname is "bacon"). So I said "shut up ><" which caused "twin" to start teasing me about him. During lunch that day, "twin" came up and said "I was going to ask you something" to which Sid replied jokingly "to prom?" =.= Then "twin" said "What? dude proms in like, two years! I'll ask her then and she'll probably say no." O.o That was rather unexpected of him to say... (anyways I hope he doesn't ask me to prom. A couple days ago he said he wanted to wear a green tux... i feel bad for the girl that *does* go with him...) Then a little while later he remembered and asked me about the guy Sid had mentioned. Then he said something very strange. He said " I'm ashamed of you! ... Cause he's not white. I'm white. None of you were white until I got here." Does that make sense? Cause it didn't to anyone else. And then the rest of the week went okay I guess. Sometimes he would do strange things like look into my eyes. one time he even asked "So which eye do you look into? The right or the left?" I never thought about that. I always assumed I looked into both... :/. Another time he stroked my hair and put his face very close to mine( these two events happened separately). I remember that day... We had a pillow fight in english and Zack went across the room to sit on a desk which was missing a leg. You can guess what happened. He fell backward knocking the desk over and falling on his butt while we laughed uncontrollably. Fun day :). Anyways, now back to the present! I actually showed up early today... well, early for me; I wasn't late. I ran into Monica who commented on my earlyness. ...She had been in one of my morning classes last year to witness my being tardy practically everyday. The bell was about to ring though so I went with Sid and Elle ( who was pushing Sid by the backpack) to english. Elle mentioned steering him into a pole. It would have been funny if she had. Well for us anyway :P We actually didn't have to start walking to class as early as we did cause our teacher wasn't even there yet, so we talked outside for a while. I talk to pretty much all guys in that class and standing with them is a lot different than sitting. At least when we're sitting they're closer to my height. I told Sid this, and to make me feel "better" he had all of the guys crowd around me to emphasize my shortness. Thankfully our teacher opened the door shortly after(haha 'shortly'). We were given a book and told to read the first couple of chapters so of course this means we were going to talk for about the whole period. I don't remember what we talked about but I'm pretty sure racist and perverted jokes were included in our conversation. The book we were reading was called stolen lives and of course the word "stolen" made the guys think of black people. =.= so yeah... our class consisted of whispering and trying to laugh quietly while our teacher would occasionally to tell us to shut up. Fortunately she wasn't in the room very much. Sid then asked "twin" "do you love Josh?" to which he replied "Yes. I love you Josh". Sid then asked " Do you love Zack?" and he said "Yes I love Zack. I love you Zack". Then Sid asked him "So you love her?" I was expecting him to say the same and even though they were joking I still wanted to hear him say it. then he said " No that's not true" making me feel a little upset. I can't say my heart dropped. That would be exaggerating. Monica said that if he were joking and it were another girl he would have said it. So maybe it means something. Another time when Sid asked who he liked best out of him, Josh, Zack, and me he had said me and "But she doesn't like me". Another time when I was feeling upset and nostalgic, Sid called me emo and then said "twin's" emo too.(Cause he had a big cut on his wrist. I forgot what it was from). Then "twin" said "Yes I am emo. Because she doesn't like me." Then he did the puppy dog face which is soooo adorable><. He even made himself cry. So maybe monica is right and I am a little special. I still think it was a slight rejection though. He might know I like him. I mean, my friends sometimes take me out of the conversation during lunch and ask me if I like him, or they start talking about him and asking "do you like him?" or "would you go out with him?" or "do you think he likes you?", etc. and every time he always seems to come into the conversation to which we all exchange that awkward glance while he's still clueless. Anyways, back to english. Our teacher started a group discussion again. They're interesting conversations but they get rather long and off topic. The guys were joking about how she would say everything symbolized something s*xual which is true(she did this all the time for lord of the flies). To her, everything longer than it is wide is uh... you can guess. So i started to fall asleep a little and when I woke up we were talking about marriage and how you should be able to marry anyone no matter your belief system. So I turned to Sid and asked how this had anything to do with the book. "Because the book is about being trapped in a desert". Ah. that explains it :p. She always gets off topic... she's crazy. She's a good teacher but she can talk a little too much. Then she started going on  about the symbolism of a christmas tree. She started going on about how it was the only fertile thing in winter and how people would decorate it to encourage uh "reproduction" for spring. =.= the guys were right... So that was english. After that "twin" and I walked to our spot by the tree for nutrition. He started humming this song I learned in chorus last year which got really annoying. Then david came over and we gave him a drink that Zack had rejected and given us during first period. We decided to save it for david considering it was a grape drink and david was black. yes i know, we're racist :P. He didn't want it though. It was organic and therefore too healthy. He said it had to be deep fried at least once before he would drink it. Then for some reason I decided to sit with the girls of our group. We called Sofia over who was talking to Stephen. We asked how her weekend was and she proceeded to tell us how it was amazing because of this party she went to. She told us how she made out with this guy and got felt up. And she said he was in 8th grade O.o. We're all in 10th grade... I really didn't expect her to be that type of person... I felt really bad for stephen. She is one of the two people he likes. He also likes someone else named Alice but I didn't know her so I preferred him with Sofia (kinda). He's been starting to lean more towards sofia but now I think I would rather him be with Alice. Then third period started and I was in spanish. ...Nothing much to say. It's a pretty uneventful class. I did my homework last minute and studied for a test that we postponed until next class; Oh well at least I'm prepared. We also got our tests back. 92% on one and 6/8 on the other :/. i could have done better but I'm not good at numbers which was what the test was on. I can do one to ten but thats about it. oh well, I still have 98.2% in that class. Maybe 98.3%. I can't remember too well. Then the guy in front of me started being annoying causing ms vincent to get mad and make our whole side of the class stay during lunch. It worked out though. I knew it would. Ms. VIncent never remembers to keep us after class so we wound up just staying five minutes after the bell. Then it was time for lunch ^.^. Lunch was a little uneventful but it was fun. I talked to "twin" a lot. During one part of it he pointed out the girl david liked. He was like " I spy with my little eye..." to which Sid cut off with" hey you're not asian" So he adjusted that and said " I spy with my big blue eye..." and david said "Hey! you're not german either!" So "twin" started marching nazi style. ...you could say our group is racist... :P We sat down for the rest of lunch, talking and arguing with alex(who is a girl). David and "twin" don't really get along well with alex... they're joking but still... During the time we were sitting, "twin" was kind of facing me and the area where is heart is was pointed at me. According to an online quiz, this means that the person takes interest in you, but then again, how much can you trust an online quiz? Lunch ended too soon. Everyone left to go to class and then Lance came up... oh dear. Sorry one more back story. Last week on monday he asked me out. He's liked me since last year and hasn't taken my "subtle" hints that I don't like him back. So when he asked me out I replied with "I'm really sorry" and "I can't..." I thought I actually handled that better than I thought I would. Unfortunately that answer didn't work. He asked me "why?" What do you mean "why?" Cause I don't like you! grrrr ><. But I just said "sorry" again. Then he said "Oh... it's ok. Nothing personal." ...Um, shouldn't I be the one to say that... O.o Oh well. Then he said "Maybe senior year". Wow he doesn't give up. I kind of have to admire him though. He had the guts to actually try. But the admiration is fading. The next day he came up to me during lunch. I found him annoying a long time ago but now it's gotten worse... He kept asking for my food and wouldn't take no for an answer. I had brownies that day and Monica had made them for me since I was feeling sad on friday (it had been "square's" birthday on thursday and I was feeling rather nostalgic). I told him this and he still didn't take that answer =.=. I didn't give him any though. I also ran into him after school. He again asked why I said no. I told him I like someone else and he said "Ok well maybe we can hook up next time". Hook up?!? next time?!? Does he even know what hook up means?? =.= ugh. He also posted on his facebook status that he got rejected. Who would post that!?!? And then he commented saying "She said she liked someone else but I don't believe her" =.= Oh dear... T.T So after that the guys basically became like my body guards and walked me to classes. "Twin" also hugged me in english after I told him what happened and said he would talk to him if he came over again. Sid said that "twin" said that he would protect me. I didn't hear the word protect but that makes me happy ^.^. Then on friday Alex said that Lance had put a note in my bag when I wasn't looking. I didn't want to read the note so the guys read it for me. It said something like "my undying love for you" and "you are the cheese to my macaroni" and other weird stuff. The guys were getting so p*ssed at Lance but then Alex said that she wrote it just as a joke. David got really mad at her :/. I was a little confused as to why she did that. I felt a little upset but I'm not mad at her. She didn't have any bad intentions  so there's no real harm done. "Twin" said that he yelled at her for me. I'm happy he would do that for me but I hope he didn't say anything to harsh to her... He said he didn't so I thanked him to which he replied "yup :D". Things aren't weird with alex though. She, Monica, and I hung out on sunday. It was fun and I think I might write about that in another post. So yeah... Lance started talking to me but he left quickly which was unexpectedly nice. So Alex and I were walking to class when this "BOOM" noise went off. We were like O.O. I guess it was a firecracker or something. It sounded kind of like a gun shot but I saw green sparky things fly up. Our school is strange. On somedays we have days where they blast hip hop music. Another day they got someone with an actual album to play at our school. They even turned our school into a mini golf course a couple weeks ago. This one time when they started playing hip hop music, the african american population at our school(who for some reason always eat by the gym... seriously like almost all of them) all came from their area in this march of people and proceeded to the stage where they had a dance circle. ...It was interesting... and slightly hilarious. Anyways I went to pe, which is my least favorite class. It's not that I don't like exercise. Actually, we don't exercise in that class. We sit and do nothing. Literally. Mary wasn't there and Christian and Justin always play basketball with other guys and guys' games can get pretty intense so I prefer to stay out. So I was alone. I didn't mind too much though. Honestly that class has a terrible aura that can sometimes be suffocating if you want to exaggerate it. It feels like being in a room with sick people while wearing a mask so you don't also get sick. Again I think that's also a hyperbole but still... So when we were meeting at the blacktop after dressing, my teacher asked me if I wanted to go and open the gate with these two other people. (We need someone to open the gate at the top of these flight of stairs to be able to do the school run.) I guess I looked lonely and sad or something and maybe it helps that I look like one of the most innocent and little kid like people in the class and maybe that's why I was chosen. I'm glad I was though. I didn't feel like doing anything and if I could get away from the majority of the class then thats good. The people I was with didn't have inappropriate conversations and were pretty nice so it wasn't that bad. Then the class doing the run came by and of course everyone was walking. Justin(different Justin then the one i talked about before) came up and talked to us and said that all they had to do was beat the teacher who was starting late. When she finally came by she was walking =.=.  So then we closed the gate (or other people closed it) and we walked down and met up with the class. We were supposed to play softball but of course my class didn't get up off the grass so our teacher gave up. I felt really bad for her. She was sitting on the other side of the baseball field alone but at least some people went to go talk to her. Christian went to play basketball, so I was alone. It was better than talking to people though. Wow I sound antisocial. There's this other guy that also never talks to anyone. I wonder if he doesn't like anybody in our class and finds us all annoying. I kinda hope he doesn't find me annoying cause sometimes I feel like talking to him to see if I can relate to him and find someone a little similar. Maybe we could talk about how much we don't like pe. I don't know but I feel like I shouldn't bother him. So I spent the rest of class sitting on the grass. ...that rhymes :P and then I saw this spider. I was thinking about stepping on it so it wouldn't come any closer but spiders are also living things and have a life they want to hold on to. Besides, I'm not that afraid of spiders anymore. At least not the little ones. Davis had a lot of spiders so I kind of got used to them. I would still freak out if there was a huge spider on me but still... Anyways I decided to let the spider go... until it jumped... so I spent I don't know how long watching the spider to make sure it didn't come near me. It was about to get near me again but I sent out mental warnings and moved my foot closer to it and it seemed to get the message ^.^. So pe wasn't so bad that day. It's usually feels like a stuffy class room you just need to get out of. This time though, it feels like I got the seat next to the open window. Probably cause I  didn't talk to anybody and tried to sit in my own little world and block everyone else out and focus on nature. Then it was time to go to the locker rooms. Usually this makes me happy but this time not so much because even though it's an exit, it feels like going back across that stuffy room to get to the door. But finally the bell rang and I made it out the "door of the stuffy class room" and was on my way to art which would hopefully overwrite the bad feelings from pe. So I kind of did nothing in art and then went home. I made myself food and went to the computer and now I'm waiting for monica to get back from dinner, "twin" to get online and possibly talk to me cause I don't think I can talk to him, for someone else to get online, for my new phone to get here ^.^, and for something interesting to pop up on facebook. I think I might also call Anushriya. ... I should be studying for math. I have a unit test tomorrow. So I guess I'll post tomorrow... or whenever I feel like it. That could be a while. Or it could not... I don't know.